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Reaching out to help men deal with violence

New program worker draws on life experience and local knowledge
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Cameron Gordon will be building awareness around men’s violence issues.

As an actor, Cameron Gordon has appeared on TV, in movies, and on stage.

But his latest gig, as the men’s violence outreach worker at the Arrow and Slocan Lakes Community Services, may be his most challenging — and rewarding — role yet.

“I’m a gateway,” says Gordon, sitting by the faux-fireplace in his desk-less office at ASLCS. “My role here is to build an awareness in people that there are services for men in places and ways they would not know possible.”

The outreach position was created after a village committee identified the need for a service that helped direct men seeking help for violence in their lives. Currently there are no free programs for men’s support in the village, unless a man is forced through the justice system, or parole system, to seek anger management treatment.

While there are programs in place to support women who are victims of violence, officials felt it was time to address the cause of the problem. With a $5,000 grant from the Columbia Basin Trust, Gordon can work for about 10 hours a week for six months.

One thing Gordon has on his side is he doesn’t have to learn about the community. While he has lived many places as an adult, he was raised in Nakusp, and brings a deep knowledge of the community and its culture to the job.

“I’m not going to pretend I know everyone in town, even the ones I do know, I don’t know their life story any more than they know mine,” he admits.

“But coming from this community, what that does is inform me about how important trust is, and not only that but it also helps me understand where people are coming from.”

“So when somebody walks through these doors, not a single thing they tell me is getting out of these walls. That has got to be the main thing, establishing trust. If I don’t establish trust I’m doomed before I start.”

Gordon is careful to point out that he’s not a counsellor, or a therapist.

“I am an outreach worker, so my role is different,” he says. “My role is to hear people out , be non-judgmental, and try to help them find ways that will eventually help them later on down the road.

“My role is not to give them advice, neither heap judgment on them nor fix them. My role is to be a gateway and that is a big difference.”

As a gateway, Gordon will direct men to services and resources they may not be aware of. He’s also a communicator, bringing awareness to the wider community about men’s violence issues and helping organize events that get conversations going.

“The idea is to get men to come out, find out what they want as men in the community,” he says. “And at the same time, let them know I am here for them if they want to come in and talk about something specific in their lives, and help them find help.”

“The real ultimate goal, the thing we have to talk about, is I am here to help men get through those issues they are experiencing in today’s world.”

Gordon says his past work as a ‘change catalyst’, as a ‘mind-body effects master coach’, and as a consultant helping managers in business set goals and adapt to change helps him with this work. And his work as an actor and public speaker lets him reach out and connect with people from all walks of life. He plans to take those skills with him into this job.

“I would love to communicate and work with, and hold something that is of use to, the Rod and Gun Club,” he says. “I would love to create a program that would connect with those individuals. I would love to go to Rotary, or the Legion, and connect with what they want. “

But Gordon says he wants to be careful to develop events that are tailored to the way men are.

“We know the need is there, but there’s a stigma attached to asking for help,” he says. “That is why this outreach is here.

“We want them to come to events where there is no stigma. ‘Come to a crib tournament, come and play. And you’ll meet people’. And I can let them know I am here, that the door is open for them.

“If I can let 10 men in community know I exist, those 10 can tell two friends, and eventually everyone knows. “

With the job just starting, Gordon can’t really say how a ‘regular’ day works. And he says there’s really no guide from other areas about how the job might develop.

“The research ASLCS has done, there’s not an outreach program like this in the province,” he says. “There may be aspects of this program in other regions, but really nothing like a ‘men’s outreach worker’ in any community service areas.

“I am creating a new way, a new model for the province. and I want to do it right.”

He’s confident he’ll find men will come to use the service he’s providing.

“If they know I am here, and I am a safe person they can trust they can come in to talk to and they know it’s not going to go anywhere, they will get the help they need and no one is going to find out.

”Maybe through that process we can stop a family from breaking up, or stop a man from violence.

“But me just being here is a testament to the power of this community to make change that’s positive happen, and that can help people.”.